Okay, so I will just tell you LOGICALLY I know this is wrong. However, in my world it is totally how my brain works. I have been battling something for a bit now. Last Saturday until Tuesday I was sure it was just allergies. By Wednesday, the burning in my throat started, and I thought hmm maybe not.
Thursday morning, I went to get checked. Strep culture came back negative, but the Dr. looked at my throat and took another culture to send to the lab. She started me on antibiotics and steroids. She also asked me to come back on Friday, to double check my throat and make sure it wasn't so swollen that it was blocking my airways. My daughter, joked with me, Mom guess what now you get a steroid week, you are gonna be hungry and cranky!!!
Friday morning I went back to the Dr., he started me on rocephin and did a test for mono. I know this is probably routine for most of you. However, this is the exact same routine we went through almost 2 years ago with my daughter and she didn't have mono she had cancer!! I texted my husband and said they are testing me for mono... he called me back and said that doesn't mean you have cancer right?? I can laugh about it now. The truth is though.. I found myself praying for mono again. The Dr. came back and let me know it wasn't mono and to keep taking my antibiotics and steroids, and my counts were fine. This was a huge sigh of relief and I am glad that the Dr. had the brains to tell me this! (BTW same Dr. who kept following my daughter and allowed her DX as quick as it was)
So yes LOGICALLY Mono does not equal cancer, but in our crazy world it just might.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Friday, December 14, 2012
Tragedies and Sadness
Today a gunman went into a school and killed 20 school children. It is tragic, it is sad, their classmates had to witness things children should never have to witness. Newtown, CT will never be the same, the staff at that school will never be the same neither will the parents of the children who are gone and the children who survived.
BUT WHAT IF?? 7 children a day were gunned down each day or make that 46 and only 7 of them died. IT WOULD BE HORRIBLE RIGHT?? 46 children are diagnosed on any given school day with a form of childhood cancer, 7 of these children will die. The difference, it could be prevented with more awareness, more research and maybe even cures!! The difference is we could help control this by urging law makers to give more money to research. The difference is major corporations could sport gold ribbons on their products YEAR ROUND or even for ONE MONTH.
Why don't they? I have heard many reasons and the truth being most of the reasoning Childhood cancer is depressing. It is! It SUCKS!! My kid has gotten chemo for 2 years running through her growing body, hoping in the future she doesnt end up with cancer from her chemo, or heart problems, or hope that her bones regenerate since it has literally been killed off by some of the meds she was on. It is pretty freakin depressing!!
I keep hearing the news mentioning PTSD, guess what?!! Our kids, not just the ones diagnosed but their siblings as well as us parents, we are often diagnosed with PTSD!! Cancer changes your family, forever and always. Life will never be the same. You will never feel "safe" again. When I hear about a child who has died from a setback, relapse, chemo, infection, whatever it may be... my mind goes to what if. I wonder often when my child is in school if she is safe. Sadly the life of a cancer mom is extremely close to parents who have gone through this. One day we woke up and expected our kid to go to school and do what kids do and instead they were given the diagnosis of cancer. Cancer is a killer that takes 7 of our friends a day, and adds 46 more moms to our cancer mama club a day. It shouldn't happen but it does everyday. What will it take for us to get peoples attention??
This all being said my heart hurts for the families effected today, I just felt the need to put my feelings down.
BUT WHAT IF?? 7 children a day were gunned down each day or make that 46 and only 7 of them died. IT WOULD BE HORRIBLE RIGHT?? 46 children are diagnosed on any given school day with a form of childhood cancer, 7 of these children will die. The difference, it could be prevented with more awareness, more research and maybe even cures!! The difference is we could help control this by urging law makers to give more money to research. The difference is major corporations could sport gold ribbons on their products YEAR ROUND or even for ONE MONTH.
Why don't they? I have heard many reasons and the truth being most of the reasoning Childhood cancer is depressing. It is! It SUCKS!! My kid has gotten chemo for 2 years running through her growing body, hoping in the future she doesnt end up with cancer from her chemo, or heart problems, or hope that her bones regenerate since it has literally been killed off by some of the meds she was on. It is pretty freakin depressing!!
I keep hearing the news mentioning PTSD, guess what?!! Our kids, not just the ones diagnosed but their siblings as well as us parents, we are often diagnosed with PTSD!! Cancer changes your family, forever and always. Life will never be the same. You will never feel "safe" again. When I hear about a child who has died from a setback, relapse, chemo, infection, whatever it may be... my mind goes to what if. I wonder often when my child is in school if she is safe. Sadly the life of a cancer mom is extremely close to parents who have gone through this. One day we woke up and expected our kid to go to school and do what kids do and instead they were given the diagnosis of cancer. Cancer is a killer that takes 7 of our friends a day, and adds 46 more moms to our cancer mama club a day. It shouldn't happen but it does everyday. What will it take for us to get peoples attention??
This all being said my heart hurts for the families effected today, I just felt the need to put my feelings down.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
A week of Amazement.. maybe a few days extra
This week has been a large amount of amazement in my family, especially for my daughter. The amazement began with an old high school friend who is more like family. Her mom offered to make it possible for my daughter and myself to fly across to see the ACCO tree lighting in Washinton, DC. To many of you this may mean nothing, to us it meant everything. My daughter as well as many of my friends children had a ribbon on that tree. When I walked in I guess I pictured a tree with a few gold ribbons, instead I found a mountain of gold ribbon, and then it hits you. These are children who have fought, are fighting, or have lost a battle to cancer. At that moment it becomes overwhelming, and heartbreaking, yet comforting all in one moment.
Before they light the tree they allow the families and fighters to say a little something. I think this was the best and worst part of the night. The best because you realize you are all fighting for the same thing, A CURE!! The worst because some families will never get their cure and their children have already lost their battle, some months ago, some years ago, but they are all there to speak how important awareness is. The other thing that hits so hard is that we were in the middle of the capital of the United States of America, yet you don't see political figures that should be there speaking on behalf of our kids. These people should be finding us a CURE!!!! Cancer is the leading disease cause of death of all children under the age of 15 in the United States and NO ONE that should have been there trying to save them was. This has got to change and I am going to do what I can to change it! This was a new motivation for me.
However, this was just one part of our experiences recently. Our other experience was through Make-A-Wish. They choose a few local families in the Los Angeles area to participate in an amazing wish reveal. My daughter's wish is a trip to Italy. The reveal was AMAZING even more amazing than we could ever dream. The fact so many people came together to make my daughters dream come true and the way they treated her and our whole family was beyond words.
It started with a trip in a limousine which made both of my children EXTREMELY excited!! Included was an array of beverages, sparkling cider, soda, and water. They also included plenty of candy and snacks for my children's enjoyment. After arriving at The Grove , the venue where the reveal would take place, we were met by a Make-A-Wish employee and volunteer with our next stop being Sprinkles' cupcakes. My daughter is a cupcake lover so this was a definite treat for her. My kids enjoyed their dessert before dinner, and it was exactly as it should have been. As we walked around the Winter Wonderland that is The Grove at Christmas time, we were brought to the area where it would all be taking place and seated.
We sat and I see a huge backdrop that reads Kinley Goes To Italy, and the tears were hard to control. This really cemented this was all for my girl. We were serenaded by Italian music and watched the magic of Christmas around us. As the festivities began and local radio and television personalities helped tell about Make-A-Wish and my child, the tears began to flow. My daughter had to tell a bit of her fight and she told how she appreciated her family for helping her through all of this, and the tears couldn't be stopped. I was in awe of my girl, and everyday I thank the Lord for an amazing girl like her. She is everything I ever wanted to be and more even through all this.
My daughter then presented with her very own chef hat, which made her year! She made pizza with a chef from Amici in Brentwood. Many of you are probably like what? BUT, if you know my daughter you know she loves to cook and you will already know her number one thing to do in Italy is take a cooking class. Of course, she wants to see all the amazing sights also, but she wants to learn to cook authentic Italian food while doing this. After all of these festivities they presented her with SEVERAL gift baskets, some handpicked from the Italian cultural center in Los Angeles, others by her Make-A-Wish volunteers, then of course a very generous gift from the sponsors of the event Saputo Frigo Cheeses.
We were overwhelmed, the whole family by the whole event, and the magic of it. We hope to attend another child's wish reveal this week to celebrate with them and see the magic happen for another family. It was an eye opening experience, as well as truly amazing. I will forever be grateful to the people that made the last couple weeks happen, my friend and her husband, her mom, ACCO, Make-A-Wish, KOST, FOX 11 Los Angeles, Saputo, and The Grove. I know many of you may see this as a list of advertising, but I see it as a way for people to see the businesses and organizations that truly care for our fighters.
Before they light the tree they allow the families and fighters to say a little something. I think this was the best and worst part of the night. The best because you realize you are all fighting for the same thing, A CURE!! The worst because some families will never get their cure and their children have already lost their battle, some months ago, some years ago, but they are all there to speak how important awareness is. The other thing that hits so hard is that we were in the middle of the capital of the United States of America, yet you don't see political figures that should be there speaking on behalf of our kids. These people should be finding us a CURE!!!! Cancer is the leading disease cause of death of all children under the age of 15 in the United States and NO ONE that should have been there trying to save them was. This has got to change and I am going to do what I can to change it! This was a new motivation for me.
However, this was just one part of our experiences recently. Our other experience was through Make-A-Wish. They choose a few local families in the Los Angeles area to participate in an amazing wish reveal. My daughter's wish is a trip to Italy. The reveal was AMAZING even more amazing than we could ever dream. The fact so many people came together to make my daughters dream come true and the way they treated her and our whole family was beyond words.
It started with a trip in a limousine which made both of my children EXTREMELY excited!! Included was an array of beverages, sparkling cider, soda, and water. They also included plenty of candy and snacks for my children's enjoyment. After arriving at The Grove , the venue where the reveal would take place, we were met by a Make-A-Wish employee and volunteer with our next stop being Sprinkles' cupcakes. My daughter is a cupcake lover so this was a definite treat for her. My kids enjoyed their dessert before dinner, and it was exactly as it should have been. As we walked around the Winter Wonderland that is The Grove at Christmas time, we were brought to the area where it would all be taking place and seated.
We sat and I see a huge backdrop that reads Kinley Goes To Italy, and the tears were hard to control. This really cemented this was all for my girl. We were serenaded by Italian music and watched the magic of Christmas around us. As the festivities began and local radio and television personalities helped tell about Make-A-Wish and my child, the tears began to flow. My daughter had to tell a bit of her fight and she told how she appreciated her family for helping her through all of this, and the tears couldn't be stopped. I was in awe of my girl, and everyday I thank the Lord for an amazing girl like her. She is everything I ever wanted to be and more even through all this.
My daughter then presented with her very own chef hat, which made her year! She made pizza with a chef from Amici in Brentwood. Many of you are probably like what? BUT, if you know my daughter you know she loves to cook and you will already know her number one thing to do in Italy is take a cooking class. Of course, she wants to see all the amazing sights also, but she wants to learn to cook authentic Italian food while doing this. After all of these festivities they presented her with SEVERAL gift baskets, some handpicked from the Italian cultural center in Los Angeles, others by her Make-A-Wish volunteers, then of course a very generous gift from the sponsors of the event Saputo Frigo Cheeses.
We were overwhelmed, the whole family by the whole event, and the magic of it. We hope to attend another child's wish reveal this week to celebrate with them and see the magic happen for another family. It was an eye opening experience, as well as truly amazing. I will forever be grateful to the people that made the last couple weeks happen, my friend and her husband, her mom, ACCO, Make-A-Wish, KOST, FOX 11 Los Angeles, Saputo, and The Grove. I know many of you may see this as a list of advertising, but I see it as a way for people to see the businesses and organizations that truly care for our fighters.
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