Kin went to chemo today, good news was counts were high enough to do it. They are still leaving her on a smaller dose and in 2 weeks we follow up with blood work at our local place. That makes it easy sucks to drive an hour and half one way for labs. In 10 days my sister will be in town. In twelve days my family becomes a true family. It seemed as this was never going to happen. Like there was setback after setback but we have made it through each and everyone, stronger and more united than ever.
Friday we threw a party for my son. Thanks to my wonderful neighbor and friend Cathy for making all the decorations and even the cupcakes. She made the best Angry Birds party EVER! It was a crazy week as it was all planned in 7 days. The neighbor kids all came over and ended up having a huge slumber party. Can't believe my baby is going to be nine in 1 week. It gets me a bit teary at times, but I realize how blessed I am to have another birthday with him and that sadness goes away fairly quickly.
Kin is kickin cancer butt and we are just enjoying what life has given us. It is easier when you wake up each day thankful for what you have rather than wishing for what you don't. Believe me life is hard but its harder when your attitude is poor. It gets better if you help it get better. The lord does answer prayers and he will be there when you need someone.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
The Club I Never Wanted To Be Part Of
You know all those cool kids from high school, the ones you were always jealous of. They were part of all the clubs. Well now as an adult I am finally part of a club. One I never dreamt I would be part of nor did I ever desire to be part of. This club is called Cancer Moms. Guess what? It sucks.
Even though my kid has a "good" kind of cancer. Yeah, I admit as statistics go my kid has a wonderful chance of getting over this and never dealing with it again. However, I have made many friends, some in real life, others on Facebook. They are some of the best friends a girl could have. I can talk to them about things I can't always talk about with my friends who aren't going through the same thing.
That being said there are so many emotions along this road. I am so sad for them. My heart breaks when they get bad news just as it is overwhelmed with happiness when they get good news. There is guilt when they lose a child or their child relapses. Why do I get to keep my wonderful child while they lose their amazing angels. It isn't fair and I don't know why some are chosen and some are not.
What I do know is there is not nearly enough funding for these cancers. That our children are fed so many poisons that once one cancer is cured they have a chance of getting another. I hope that one day the cure for cancer is found and that it is not so poisonous to our children!
Today my heart is heavy as I remember an angel we lost last month RJ. Carter a warrior fighting for his life who was given bad news today. It is also filled with hope and sadness at the same time for Piper's family, Piper is trying treatment for her 2nd relapse of Leukemia. No 2 year old should have to fight Leukemia 3 times. All of these children are under the age of 4! Babies just fighting for the chance to grow up. It is really not fair.
I count my blessings nightly, these stories help me keep my life in perspective. They make me realized how lucky we really are even when given the battle we are given. Please hug your children tightly and realize we are not guaranteed a tomorrow. God Bless.
Even though my kid has a "good" kind of cancer. Yeah, I admit as statistics go my kid has a wonderful chance of getting over this and never dealing with it again. However, I have made many friends, some in real life, others on Facebook. They are some of the best friends a girl could have. I can talk to them about things I can't always talk about with my friends who aren't going through the same thing.
That being said there are so many emotions along this road. I am so sad for them. My heart breaks when they get bad news just as it is overwhelmed with happiness when they get good news. There is guilt when they lose a child or their child relapses. Why do I get to keep my wonderful child while they lose their amazing angels. It isn't fair and I don't know why some are chosen and some are not.
What I do know is there is not nearly enough funding for these cancers. That our children are fed so many poisons that once one cancer is cured they have a chance of getting another. I hope that one day the cure for cancer is found and that it is not so poisonous to our children!
Today my heart is heavy as I remember an angel we lost last month RJ. Carter a warrior fighting for his life who was given bad news today. It is also filled with hope and sadness at the same time for Piper's family, Piper is trying treatment for her 2nd relapse of Leukemia. No 2 year old should have to fight Leukemia 3 times. All of these children are under the age of 4! Babies just fighting for the chance to grow up. It is really not fair.
I count my blessings nightly, these stories help me keep my life in perspective. They make me realized how lucky we really are even when given the battle we are given. Please hug your children tightly and realize we are not guaranteed a tomorrow. God Bless.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Blessings In Disguise (flashback)
I know most people would say cancer is the worst thing that ever happened to them. It can be. It absolutely sucks and turns your life upside down. Most people say what is the hardest part. I guess at the beginning it was choosing which kid I was going to be with and most often times it was my daughter because she is who needed me the most.
From the beginning I let my family and friends know what was going on. It was not a secret to me. It was our lives and people were going to wonder why the heck we dropped off the face of the planet. That is just not me. Cancer taught me a lot of true friends and family.
Local friends here gathered together and arranged for a cleaning crew to come into my house and clean it for my daughter's homecoming. Such a blessing! Thank you all even if I have tried and never managed to send out Thank You cards all year. Does this count?
On top of that they all purchased in Ipad for my daughter to help her have some sort of entertainment in the hospital seriously amazing friends. This does not count the countless gifts of Pjs, games, activities, and hats from people. Some gave us gift cards to food places which btw LOOVED because when you are on the go its nice to know you don't have to cook. One great friend pretty much let my son become part of her family for what was probably months with no payment needed and a smile on her face each time. Thank you for this Brenda, seriously I feel like I will be forever in debt to you but I know you do not expect repayment.
Even more amazing people I have known online some several years like since my daughter was an infant, others who I had never met were sending Get Well cards, presents for BOTH of my children.Some even threw in some bonuses for mom. All I saw was an out pour of love. What should have been the hardest part of our lives was really becoming a wonderful experience (well as wonderful as cancer can be).
One thing that was very difficult was the fact I had to take 3 months off work unpaid because I was still not considered permanent and this was the only leave available for me. My sister immediately had set up a fund for people to donate money to my family. People I had met once were donating pretty large sums of money. I never understood why? In the end it was because God made sure we were provided for as he always does. God has been on our side since day 1. God did not give us this cancer as a punishment God gave us our blessings to help us get through this.
I HATE Cancer and the fact it has turned our lives upside down. I LOVE that it has shown us who we were meant to be. Thank you all who have been part of this past 13 months and helped us get through it.
Watching, Waiting
That is what this week has been. Kin has RSV. For most no big deal. For us HUGE deal. The lovely accommodations we get 4 star;) Okay not complaining most the rooms here at Childrens' are now private and so yeah huge plus. Since she has a viral coughing thing that could instantly be overtaking the oncology ward we are definitely in one of those private ones. She is also quarantined to her room. Not like she really cares, too tired and too sick to even get out of bed. The plus is we get a nice private suite by the nurse's station;)
Appetite, nonexistent. Takes me back to last February when we spent the whole month here practically. Only it was the opposite then she was not allowed food and was on steroids so she was an angry hungry girl. Now she is allowed food and practically begging her to eat. UGH!!
Last night sucked! Yeah I could sit there and put it all fancy but it sucked. She had a headache until about 1 a.m. She did not break her fever until about 8:45 this morning so she went about 12 hours with it. They did some blood work just to rule out anything else. That is because if you have a new fever 24 hours after your last one that is standard procedure.
So today entails lots of watching and waiting. Her counts are still low. Hoping when they drew blood today they saw a change in those. Doubtful but a mama can hope!
And yeah no news her white blood cells are about 260, not good. I have no clue how long it will take them to go back up. I have asked and no one seems to know. I was truly hoping this would be a 2 or 3 day stay. However, that is not the case. I hope we can get back to our lives soon.
Kin got a transfusion today I know many of you just thought OMG! How Scary! It isn't for us it is just run of the mill daily activities. It is just an iv giving her what she needs. Nothing extraordinary. She had a fever off and on today. I hope this weekend the fevers are fewer and farther between because that usually means counts are rising.
I took the night off and I am home while her bio dad hangs with her. I look forward to a night in my own bed yet I know it still will not be a great night's sleep because my whole family is not here. It was nice to hang with my son today and hear about his week. I have missed him and my fiance so much. He had a trip to the planetarium and they laughed about Uranus. Yep! That's my boy! Tomorrow is PJ day with a book exchange and he couldn't be more excited.
As those of you who have your family whole and with you give them hugs and appreciate them today. For those that are missing your families, I am so sorry. I know many friends who are going through much more than I right now and I pray for you daily. Good Night and God Bless.
Appetite, nonexistent. Takes me back to last February when we spent the whole month here practically. Only it was the opposite then she was not allowed food and was on steroids so she was an angry hungry girl. Now she is allowed food and practically begging her to eat. UGH!!
Last night sucked! Yeah I could sit there and put it all fancy but it sucked. She had a headache until about 1 a.m. She did not break her fever until about 8:45 this morning so she went about 12 hours with it. They did some blood work just to rule out anything else. That is because if you have a new fever 24 hours after your last one that is standard procedure.
So today entails lots of watching and waiting. Her counts are still low. Hoping when they drew blood today they saw a change in those. Doubtful but a mama can hope!
And yeah no news her white blood cells are about 260, not good. I have no clue how long it will take them to go back up. I have asked and no one seems to know. I was truly hoping this would be a 2 or 3 day stay. However, that is not the case. I hope we can get back to our lives soon.
Kin got a transfusion today I know many of you just thought OMG! How Scary! It isn't for us it is just run of the mill daily activities. It is just an iv giving her what she needs. Nothing extraordinary. She had a fever off and on today. I hope this weekend the fevers are fewer and farther between because that usually means counts are rising.
I took the night off and I am home while her bio dad hangs with her. I look forward to a night in my own bed yet I know it still will not be a great night's sleep because my whole family is not here. It was nice to hang with my son today and hear about his week. I have missed him and my fiance so much. He had a trip to the planetarium and they laughed about Uranus. Yep! That's my boy! Tomorrow is PJ day with a book exchange and he couldn't be more excited.
As those of you who have your family whole and with you give them hugs and appreciate them today. For those that are missing your families, I am so sorry. I know many friends who are going through much more than I right now and I pray for you daily. Good Night and God Bless.
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