Two years ago today, I was waiting on an ambulance to take my little girl down to Childrens' Hospital Los Angeles. Before this day I did not even know where this hospital was located. On this day I still had hope. Hope that when the Dr. did the test the next day she would not have Leukemia. I prayed I would wake up and find out it was all a mistake. We took my sick little girl who had just turned 11 the month before.. who seemed to be growing up to be such a big girl.. to the hospital with so many unknowns.
Since then CHLA has become our 2nd home almost. I feel almost as at home on the 4th floor inpatient as I do in my own home. Sad in a way. I guess it just means the nurses do their job in making us feel comfortable and at ease in their care. The 5th floor outpatient tower, is a pain in the butt, to be honest 2 years of doing that and I still wonder sometimes where the logic is to the way things are handled. However, in the end my girl is thriving and I guess that is what matters.
My girl is no long that little girl I took to the hospital so sick 2 years ago. Yes she is still in treatment, but she is now 13. THIRTEEN, she is a TEENAGER officially. So crazy to think that. Crazy to think how much she has lived in such a short life. Crazy to think she will be grown and off to college before I can blink. However, this journey has taught me to enjoy this time more. Even when she is being her sassy self and driving me nuts!!
Since then the reality slapped us in our face. Today is bittersweet I celebrate the life my daughter has gotten to live and realize this was the last "normal" day we would ever live. I hope that one day our life will be more normal but know that it will be different no matter what. I am very blessed and I know this. This journey has taught me so much but some days I wish we never hard to learn it.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
What a day..
I woke up today with a huge amount of anxiety... I went back to work for the first time in 5 months! It hasn't seemed like 5 months has passed but it has. The last time I was at work was the first week of the first semester this year. It is now the 2nd week of the 2nd semester. Work went well, I showed up in homeroom to work with "my kid". Did his morning activities with him, told him I was back for the semester. Only to find out... I wasn't. I was switched back to my "first kid" a boy I started working with in 2010. So although I was a bit disappointed on the way I found out. I am glad for the fact I am back with my first kid.
It was a fairly easy day as far as work goes. A lot of hellos and how are we doing. It was nice. We watched movies/documentaries in several classes. That was nice. However, my body realized its not used to full days and sleeping during documentaries by staff members is frowned upon. I am thoroughly exhausted.
However, it isn't just work lately that has me emotional. This week in January will forever be emotional for me. January 18, my life began changing 2 years ago. This day 2 years ago I was at home with my girl with what I thought was mono. The next day we heard the words leukemia. Although her actual diagnosis was not until Jan 24 because we had to get it confirmed by the dr.s at Childrens.
Its amazing to think what the last two years has brought to my life. Some good some bad. Some days I am angry, others I am just thankful for the opportunities given to us and the fact I have my girl. I hope that 1 year from now I will be able to update shes been off treatment for 7 months and that she is cancer free and doing amazing still! 4 more months of chemo and we are DONE!! I cannot wait!!!
It was a fairly easy day as far as work goes. A lot of hellos and how are we doing. It was nice. We watched movies/documentaries in several classes. That was nice. However, my body realized its not used to full days and sleeping during documentaries by staff members is frowned upon. I am thoroughly exhausted.
However, it isn't just work lately that has me emotional. This week in January will forever be emotional for me. January 18, my life began changing 2 years ago. This day 2 years ago I was at home with my girl with what I thought was mono. The next day we heard the words leukemia. Although her actual diagnosis was not until Jan 24 because we had to get it confirmed by the dr.s at Childrens.
Its amazing to think what the last two years has brought to my life. Some good some bad. Some days I am angry, others I am just thankful for the opportunities given to us and the fact I have my girl. I hope that 1 year from now I will be able to update shes been off treatment for 7 months and that she is cancer free and doing amazing still! 4 more months of chemo and we are DONE!! I cannot wait!!!
Friday, January 11, 2013
How man F words can Cancer Bring
Well there is the first 4 letter F word I am sure I do not need to explain. Then there are a few others like fever. Well today it is FLU. Luckily, our home has stayed flu free. However, it seems the flu season is pretty bad this year so we all need to get our flu shots. So that is what is on the agenda recently.
Shots, shots, shots, shots... Everybody!
Sounds fun right?
Not really, but hopefully it saves a life in this house and at the very least weeks off school due to the flu.
I know many of you may think, what's the big deal? It is just the flu. Let me explain. The flu can be a miserable experience for a "healthy" child. It can even be deadly 18 kids have died so far from the flu already, I think I don't wanna take those chances.
For a kid with cancer when our kid gets the flu it = fever. Fever = automatic admit to the hospital usually, sometimes if counts are high enough they will let you go home. However, illnesses can knock their counts down pretty fast so it usually means an admit until they climb a bit. Since our kids have no immune system it also means it takes them even longer to beat it. It won't just be a couple days off school, it could be weeks. Last year RSV meant a month off school for my kiddo.
What does this mean??? If you are sick or think you are stay home! If you think you can't afford your sick days imagine those that may work with you that may have an immune compromised person at home. That couple sick days could mean way more than that for them. Wash your hands, cover your cough/sneeze, use sanitizer.. and all and all just use common sense to keep those around you safe.
Shots, shots, shots, shots... Everybody!
Sounds fun right?
Not really, but hopefully it saves a life in this house and at the very least weeks off school due to the flu.
I know many of you may think, what's the big deal? It is just the flu. Let me explain. The flu can be a miserable experience for a "healthy" child. It can even be deadly 18 kids have died so far from the flu already, I think I don't wanna take those chances.
For a kid with cancer when our kid gets the flu it = fever. Fever = automatic admit to the hospital usually, sometimes if counts are high enough they will let you go home. However, illnesses can knock their counts down pretty fast so it usually means an admit until they climb a bit. Since our kids have no immune system it also means it takes them even longer to beat it. It won't just be a couple days off school, it could be weeks. Last year RSV meant a month off school for my kiddo.
What does this mean??? If you are sick or think you are stay home! If you think you can't afford your sick days imagine those that may work with you that may have an immune compromised person at home. That couple sick days could mean way more than that for them. Wash your hands, cover your cough/sneeze, use sanitizer.. and all and all just use common sense to keep those around you safe.
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