Two years ago today, I was waiting on an ambulance to take my little girl down to Childrens' Hospital Los Angeles. Before this day I did not even know where this hospital was located. On this day I still had hope. Hope that when the Dr. did the test the next day she would not have Leukemia. I prayed I would wake up and find out it was all a mistake. We took my sick little girl who had just turned 11 the month before.. who seemed to be growing up to be such a big girl.. to the hospital with so many unknowns.
Since then CHLA has become our 2nd home almost. I feel almost as at home on the 4th floor inpatient as I do in my own home. Sad in a way. I guess it just means the nurses do their job in making us feel comfortable and at ease in their care. The 5th floor outpatient tower, is a pain in the butt, to be honest 2 years of doing that and I still wonder sometimes where the logic is to the way things are handled. However, in the end my girl is thriving and I guess that is what matters.
My girl is no long that little girl I took to the hospital so sick 2 years ago. Yes she is still in treatment, but she is now 13. THIRTEEN, she is a TEENAGER officially. So crazy to think that. Crazy to think how much she has lived in such a short life. Crazy to think she will be grown and off to college before I can blink. However, this journey has taught me to enjoy this time more. Even when she is being her sassy self and driving me nuts!!
Since then the reality slapped us in our face. Today is bittersweet I celebrate the life my daughter has gotten to live and realize this was the last "normal" day we would ever live. I hope that one day our life will be more normal but know that it will be different no matter what. I am very blessed and I know this. This journey has taught me so much but some days I wish we never hard to learn it.
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